It’s funny how things turn out the way they do, and how things can easily change in an instant. whether it’s your feelings or it’s just everything around you. I usually thought that if I’m feeling something good, like that nothing can change the way things are going that day, something bad was eventually going to happen. About a few days ago I felt the opposite.

It was probably a good month since I last spent time with her, due to work and the distance. So I considered breaking up cause the time just wasn’t available, it sucked. I figured it would of been the best for us to just take a break or something until things could pick up again. Ideally I wanted to fully commit to her when I was done school, but I got a year left of that and possibly another two to four years after that. So, it would of just been alot of waiting, so I pretty much started the relationship with the thought of just taking it day by day. The future isn’t always friendly.

So there I am, a hundred thoughts in my head, hundreds of way to say it, waiting for the right time to. I’m an optimise so I figure it would of just been a clean mutual break up, but of course not, but today I’m glad it wasn’t, or else I still wouldn’t be with her as I type! :).

So after some exchanges of words, somethings were said, I got mad, I left my house to clear my head, ignoring her attempts to call until I got to the station. She drove all the way down to talk to me, and I was somewhere else. Then she said “if you care about me at all, you’ll come and see me.” So there I stand infront of my bus heading north, and there she was in my bedroom. (I stupidly left my keys in my bedroom door and my side door opened, which I think made the difference, but was kinda funny of me to do, we laughed about it after. She probably would of sat in her car for thirty minutes and left otherwise) After twenty minutes of contemplating, I went back to see her, not because of what she said, because I just wanted to see her, but I was still mad.

I walk in and there she is with her kid, and it’s hard to feel mad about anything when you see her sitting there with her son roaming around my bedroom like that. It’s cute.

And just like that, everything felt good. All that strain and anger from before just disappeared, and we just sat there for a bit and held hands.

Felt great.

For the last month or so, she thought I probably cheated on her. Not in a million years.